Author: Adrian Vitoria and Ed Scates
Writer’s Potential: 4
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Meanwhile, commando leader CAPTAIN JACK “DAVEY” JONES meets with IAN FLEMING, his lieutenant commander. Fleming explains to Jones that they use RDF (a precursor to modern radar) to track German ship movement — but the Germans are working on similar technology. Jones must lead his group into German-occupied Norway and destroy their prototypes. Helping them will be MORTEN STEINAR, a Norwegian-born American who volunteered with the royal military. In the military prison, Rains is defiant from the start. He tries to help a dehydrated fellow soldier, BRIGHTLING, and attacks a prison guard when they tell him to stop. Brightling is actually a commando. He takes a shine to Rains, who thought commandos were just a myth. Jones arrives at the prison to retrieve Brightling, and Rains insists on tagging along. Jones sends Rains away, telling him to find Jones once he’s released and maybe he can be considered as a commando then. Rains deliberately misinterprets Jones’s instructions. He steals a rifle and holds Jones hostage until he’s safely out of the prison. Jones is both irritated and impressed by Rains’s speed, skill, and improvisation. They meet with MAC, a Scottish sergeant, before dropping Brightling off at a hospital. They go to Scotland to train with Steinar and several other members of Jones’s team.
Rains and Steinar are taught how to use the special commando weapons and explosives, hand-to-hand combat, mountain-climbing, and stealth. Rains gets to know the other men. After extensive training, Fleming shows up to brief them on intelligence. They’re to fly into Norway with a young soldier, ROGER ROLLRIGHT, an expert on the German RDF technology. They’ll rendezvous with a resistance operative known only as BEOWULF, who will lead them to the German’s RDF, which Rollright will help them destroy. Once the mission is completed, they’ll return to pickup coordinates and wait for a return flight. Rains asks about the opposition. Fleming tells them they’re up against an extremely well-trained platoon, but they have the advantage of surprise. The men prepare for the mission. Jones assigns Rains the job of protecting Rollright.
On the plane, the PILOT explains that because the weather is good, he’ll land and allow them to dismount with their skis. He’ll return to retrieve them in 72 hours, unless they send up a red flare to signal danger. The dozing comandos are suddenly awakened over Norway as antiaircraft fire threatens to rip their plane apart. They toss out their equipment and parachute out of the plane, losing two men in the chaos. The others reach the mountain forest safely, but they’ve lost their skis and have to hike down the mountain to the rendezvous point. While Rains and Steinar keep watch, Beowulf arrives, skiing down the mountain, face covered in balaclava. To their surprise, Beowulf is LIV JANSEN, a Norwegian woman. They take her to Jones, who is equally surprised. Jensen briefs them on the intelligence she has gathered. They have roughly 20 soldiers guarding the RDF, but they’re using the harbor to store U-boats. They organize the infiltration of the communication outpost, and carry out their assault. Despite some casualties on the British side, the soldiers manage to hold the Germans off long enough for Jensen, Rains, and Rollright to destroy the RDF kit and steal the technology for analysis. They retreat in a German jeep. Jensen radios for their pickup, but Fleming tells them there’s a storm approaching — their only option is to cross the border into neutral Sweden.
Rains and Steinar do some recon over the nearby village and discover the SS herding villagers to the center of town, where they’re all unceremoniously executed. Both are horrified, particularly Steinar. Jones and Mac try to convince Rains and Steinar that they’re merely casualties of war, but Rains and Steinar won’t accept that. Jones tells them their objective is to return home, but Steinar convinces them to stay behind and go after the SS officers who did this. Jensen knows the SS officers and U-boat captains spend most of their time in a nearby ski lodge, which is not heavily guarded. The group mounts up and descends on the ski lodge. A wild firefight ensues. Rains places explosives. Once placed, they retreat into blizzard-like conditions. Jensen is pleased — this will give them ample cover for hours. Jones is shot in the thigh. Steinar intends to retaliate by throwing a grenade, but he’s shot dead before he can throw it. Jones and Mac scramble away just as it explodes. As conditions worsen and ammunition gets low, Jensen, Rains, and Rollright are forced to separate from Jones and Mac. By dawn, the trio reaches the Swedish border.
The first act does nothing more than give background information on Rains, Jones, and the mission. Redundant scenes show Rains defying authority and Jones learning the details of “Operation: Grendel,” over and over again to the point of tedium. When they’re finally brought together at the end of the first act, the script continues to pile on the redundancies through endless training montages and “character development” scenes. These scenes should define all the characters, but none of them have much personality or depth beyond their varied nationalities. Rather than imbuing the characters with any real spark, the scenes simply rehash the same traits (one per character, if that) ad nauseam.
The script gets a bit more interesting when the unit meets Jensen and prepares their assault on the communications outpost. However, the writers make too many grave miscalculations in the story. After page after page of tedious, redundant scenes in the first half of the script, they’re forced to rush through the meat of the story — destroying the Germans’ RDF — which automatically makes it less compelling. Also, it drastically reduces the amount of jeopardy for the characters and crushes the suspense. Although bullets are flying and the expendable members of the unit who have no dialogue or traits get killed, everything seems too quick and easy. Expanding on the mission (while drastically reducing the endless training montages), filling in the details of what they actually need to do and then throwing monkey wrenches into their plans, would greatly enhance the script.
As mentioned, the characters lack any real spark or individuality. Aside from Rains’s inconsistent disdain for authority (without any real rhyme or reason, he seems to choose which authority figures he’ll decide to respect), the only personality these characters have is driven by their nationalities. That’s simply not enough to make them interesting. They also lack any real interpersonal conflict, which contributes to the feeling that everything in this supposedly arduous mission comes to easily. With all of them getting along and all the selfless heroics, they all come across as a bit bland.
The writers also seemed to have been attempting a romantic subplot between Rains and Jensen. Aside from Rains flirting and Jensen rebuffing his advances, it doesn’t go anywhere in the first two acts. Unless it manages to do the job of undoing the problems with the characters’ lack of depth in the missing third act, it feels about as tacked-on and pointless as a romantic subplot can. Again, this all roots back to the lack of depth. It’s hard to show two people fall in love convincingly when they don’t have enough personality to make their attraction to one another clear.
It’s unlikely that even exceptional acting or skillful filmmaking will improve such a problematic script.
Posted by D. B. Bates on March 29, 2010 12:51 PM