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Posts in Category: Spring 2003

Flirting with Disaster

When we left off, I was hanging in perilous female limbo in a McDonald’s located at the corner of Wabash Avenue and Jackson Boulevard in beautiful Chicago, Illinois. It is Monday, April 21st, 2003, and I have just received some pitiful advice from an acquaintance I have taken to calling The Cheat.

“So then what happened?” you ask with bated and somewhat foul-smelling breath.

Nothing particularly interesting. But I’m going to write about it anyway, because I can.

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Album

I got out of humanities around 11:50 today, and since my politics class is an arduous 13-foot trek down the hall, I had 40 minutes to kill before it started, and I was far too lazy to do anything kooky like leave the building. Instead, I sat outside my politics classroom and attempted to read. And failed, not because of illiteracy, but because of The Cheat.

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In the Words of Ice Cube…

Today was a good day.

Or, more accurately (and surprisingly), it wasn’t a bad day. I wasn’t feeling particularly well, so I thought maybe I’d skip my screenwriting class. After a night that mainly involved me not being able to fall asleep until I figured out my game plan from here until graduation (which is likely to happen sometime before 2017), I assumed that screenwriting would be rotten. I was certainly well enough to go; I just didn’t want to. But I did, and I guess I’m glad I did.

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Friday Five (4)

Friday Five

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?
It depends. I can be organized, if I want or need to be, but I’m generally not. Although I do like to consider my disorganization “chaotic order,” because even though I have shit scattered all over the place all the time, I know exactly where everything is, how it got there, and why it shouldn’t be shoved into a file folder or onto a shelf. But, really, “chaotic order” is just an excuse for me to not clean.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?
Sometimes I buy a day planner, thinking to myself, “Gosh, I really need to get organized. I need to write down all of my assignments, my class schedules, and important events in my life. A day planner would definitely help me in such an endeavor.” But since it’s kind of hard to forget my class schedule, most assignments are printed in syllabi, and there are no important events in my life, it usually ends up a waste of money. I don’t think I’ve ever written a thing in any of the day planners I’ve bought.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?
Ha!

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?
Yes, I do.

5. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to organize?
Um…well, my mind doesn’t really work in a linear, logical, or organized manner, so doing research is really, really difficult for me. And the stuff I’m researching for my novel currently is kind of complicated and time-consuming, so creating organized notes that I’ll be able to go back to when I need to will not be easy. That’s why I’ve kind of stopped and decided to work on my sci-fi script, where I can pretty much make everything up without worrying much about research.

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Anonymous Letter

The Cheat handed me a CD-R. No case, nothing. Just a cheap, semi-translucent CD with something scrawled on it in black magic marker. He said, “This CD really sucks. You can have it.”

“What is it?” I asked. I thought, considering his taste in music, that I’d probably like it.

“It’s some Indian music,” he responded. “It’s really bad.”

“Indian music? Like Ravi Shankar?”

“No,” he said. “This is much worse.”

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Friday Five (5)

Friday Five

1. What drinking water do you prefer—tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
Whatever is available. The only thing I don’t like is Evian, which tastes oily to me.

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?
Sour cream ‘n’ onion Pringles.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (I cannot cook many things).

4. How do you have your eggs?
Scrambled.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
I will not refer to her by name, but many of my avid fans know her as The Ex (insert ominous musical sting). It turned out well. The meal, that is.

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The Incredible Waste of Time

I have to stop skipping my politics class. Of course, I say this knowing full well that there are only two sessions left (yay for having Memorial Day off!), and one of them is the final, so I definitely can’t miss anymore. But, you know, I’ve been skipping it for two perfectly legitimate reasons (ha!): (1) I pretty much enjoy my sad life of following around The Crush like a lost puppy and being surprised that she still wants to talk to me, and (2) I really, really can’t stand being in the same room with The Cheat without having any allies.

And in my politics class, he’s the one who has all the allies. Every time I get in there and want to bitch about him, I feel like I’m in a Twilight Zone episode where he’s the king emperor of goofs who are interested in how Bon Jovi set up their amps.

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Friday Five (6)

Friday Five

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
Colgate Wintergreen.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?
I tend to eat out a lot, and because I’m fat and eat out a lot, my metabolism doesn’t work nearly as well as it probably should. Needless to say, because of the rough and terrifying nature of my bowel movements, I prefer soft, 2-ply toilet paper. The brand itself doesn’t matter. Now you are an official member of the “Holy shit I did not need to know any of that, you die now” club.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?
I wore Converse All-Stars in various colors, literally from fifth grade until my senior year of high school. At that point, I started getting sick of them because while they may look cool (and they made me seem unique, since for awhile I was the only person in town dumb enough to buy/wear them), they don’t hold up at all. Somebody recommended Vans to me, so I bought a pair towards the end of my senior year, and I didn’t need to buy a new pair until about a month ago (for the record, that’s about three years). And even then, I didn’t really need to buy a new pair so much as I was sick of looking at the old ones.

4. What brand of soda do you drink?
Coca-Cola or 7-Up.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?
I don’t chew gum. I am an Altoid man. I don’t want Fop, goddammit.

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[BLOGpoll] Should I Go See Cremaster 3?

As we all know, Matthew Barney’s ingeneous and frightening Cremaster Cycle has long been on my list of masochistic must-sees. As luck—if one can call it that—would have it, the third part of this five-part epic, Cremaster 3 is playing at the Landmark Century. Unfortunately, I have discovered that it is 182 minutes long, which doesn’t seem so bad when you’re watching The Godfather, but I assume will be interminable when watching anything remotely associated with Cremaster.

This is the nature of the poll. There are several options below as to what I should do, so leave a comment instructing me. Should I:

  1. go and see it, alone, in the cover of darkness?
  2. insist that The Crush see it with me to gauge whether she will either laugh uproariously or never talk to me again?
  3. invite The Cheat to see it with me after politics and then ditch him, leaving him alone to be tortured?
  4. force one of my high school friends, who seem to be trickling home right about now, to see it?
  5. not see it at all, and let us never speak of this again?

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Closure

We took our humanities final today, being that it’s the last day of class. It was tougher than I expected it to be, but I don’t think I did too badly. Not nearly as bad as The Crush—but, of course, she went home sick last week before our professor told us what to review, and instead of calling me or someone else in class or studying everything we’ve done, she decided to do nothing and study nothing. This is why I like her: she is just like me, only not nearly as irritating or unattractive.

I decided not to go to politics after the final. We’d be watching half of Bowling For Columbine, which I’ve already seen and didn’t really like enough to want to see more than once, and while I did want to get my final back to see how I did, I really didn’t care enough to wait around, since I got out of humanities about 45 minutes early. The Cheat begged me to stay, but I pretty much told him to fuck off and left.

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