Amazon.com Widgets

Posts in: August 2009

Script Review: Taking Woodstock by James Schamus

[In lieu of actual content, for the next several weeks I will present, at least, one review of an upcoming film each week. These are scripts that I’ve been paid money to read, and many of them contain watermarking, identification numbers, password-protection, and other ways of tracking what company it was sent to; because of this and my desire to keep my job, I will not offer downloads for ANY of the scripts I review here. Don’t bother asking.]

Taking Woodstock, the upcoming Ang Lee film, seeks to capture the zeitgeist of the summer of ’69 by focusing on a marginalized figure in the history of the Woodstock festival: Elliot Tiber, who this script claims was almost solely responsible for the festival’s happening. James Schamus’s screenplay is based on Tiber’s own book, but I don’t have a clue about the validity of his claims. Personally, I don’t care too much about historical accuracy as long as it’s not something totally ridiculous, like wearing a digital watch in a Renaissance love story. If it doesn’t distract me, I’m more interested in the characters and the story than whether or not Confederate Soldier #3 has the correct patches. Nevertheless, I figured I should point out that maybe Tiber’s—and, therfore, Schamus’s—claims might be a tad dubious, and further point out how little I care.

On to the actual script…

Read More


Query Letters I’m Confused By…

So confused, in fact, that I can’t figure out if it’s a query letter, a description of a nonexistent movie trailer, or a bizarre rant from a frustrated amateur golfer. Enjoy.

Dear Sir,

I have a full length tragedy movie script title: RANKLE Jones The Golfer. It is a new idea, full of suspense and thrill. I need a production company and financial investment into this movie production as it will make a block buster.

Jones enjoys golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No fucking son of a bitch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer. Jones: Everyone in life have a dream and aspiration to fulfill, so I am too. My life, my all will go to a sport I love and cherish most. Golf is my dream game, a sport I love. Let’s go golfing.

Rudolf drug life flashes of wealth caught Jones napping as he was convinced to take part in one of the most bloody drug cartel deal.

Shelly is a desire of every men but her stinking lifestyle of prostitution can’t let her settle for a man.

Jones fought Elvis in the night club all because of a fames sex machine Shelly with Rudolf, Alex and others watch with no one allow to separate until someone quit for the other.

There are a lot of happenings at the night club.

Gangsters and Police combat force.

Why is Jeff called the master by Rudolf, Elvis, Jimmy and others?

It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. Traumatic experiences of Ray of hatred, alienation by all his family members, his emotional disgust and good moral negligence on the part of his parent on the family.

His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.

Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera. Ray’s love life with Hilda left nothing to be admiring as it is an ocean of perfect love for both of them.

Jones finally golfed out daddy’s “Kenny” breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turns sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.

Guns blazing as the government troop fight the drug cartel men.

There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangster, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.

The script is over 120 pages.

This production has good advert spaces that will be integrated into the movie without it interfering, as the production is purely commercial. This is a viable promotional vehicle to boost your products and services across the globe considering the much success this movie will achieve.

Thanks for finding time to read through. Only get back to me if you are ready for us to proceed with this viable movie production.

Best Regards.

PRODUCER

[Name redacted]

The funniest thing to me is that they’re e-mailing this query to me, as if I have any power or authority over…anything.

Read More


Script Review: Extract by Mike Judge

[In lieu of actual content, for the next several weeks I will present, at least, one review of an upcoming film each week. These are scripts that I’ve been paid money to read, and many of them contain watermarking, identification numbers, password-protection, and other ways of tracking what company it was sent to; because of this and my desire to keep my job, I will not offer downloads for ANY of the scripts I review here. Don’t bother asking.]

Here’s the deal: I hate fanboys. They don’t really add anything to an argument but shrill hyperbole, and they can’t take even the smallest amount of constructive criticism against whatever it is they love. That is, at least, my definition of “fanboy”/”fangirl.” A fan of something, although they may be labeled (inaccurately or not) as “casual” fans by their fanboy brethren, is perfectly fine. For instance, I’d consider myself a fan of Joss Whedon’s oeuvre: I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly. However, I fully admit that the final two seasons of Buffy and the final season of Angel sucked about as much ass as a once-great TV show can; I just happen to think what came before it sort of makes up for the crappiness. Nevertheless, I like to pretend Buffy ended with “The Gift” and Angel ended with…whatever episode comes just before the fourth-season finale. You can run around blaming the badness of these later seasons on other producers, Whedon focusing his attention elsewhere, etc., etc., but that doesn’t change the suckiness. It also certainly doesn’t change the suckiness of Dollhouse, a sinking ship he’s allegedly piloting with as much enthusiasm as Buffy‘s glory years.

Read More