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Posts in: April 4th, 2008

Workplace Comedy

In early 2005, Stan Has Issues™ attempted a noble but failed experiment: a dual blog, Stan and Anne Have Issues™, which would temper my frustrations and cynicism with…slightly less frustration and cynicism. Don’t bother going back into the archives to find the posts from this almost-mythical era; they’re all gone now. You can take a wild guess as to why the dual blog fell apart, but I don’t have much interest in delving into it.

I’m more interested in this fun fact: Google “stan and anne have issues” (without quotes). Go ahead, do it. I’ll wait. Come on, you lazy asshole. Click this. Too silly for you? How about “stan and anne” (with quotes)? Two random names, one of which has not appeared on this blog in nearly three years and has been almost entirely stripped from the archives, and yet it still tops Google. Even without the quotes, stan and anne only sinks to #3. And even just stan anne only sinks it to #9—still on the front page. It’s weird.

I don’t claim to know or understand how Google compiles and filters its results. I know that, thanks to Google bombs and other attempts to manipulate search results, things have gotten more complicated than the circa-1999 philosophy of “if it gets the most clicks, it gets the top spot.” Still, it seems awfully fishy that this blog would still be the #1 for these key phrases, so long after one half of this blog became little more than a memory.

(Also, if you’re wondering why I was starting searches like these in the first place: I discovered, while narcissistically Googling this blog, that several blog search engines still list this place as Stan and Anne Have Issues™, complete with a tacky tagline I wrote. I started searching for “stan and anne have issues” so I could try to update all of these search engines. I wonder if that accounts for the Google craziness…)

Edit 4/5/08—I neglected to mention the irony that posting about Stan and Anne Have Issues™ is less likely to remove the Google association with that name. You no longer need to point it out.

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