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March 2007 Archives

March 2, 2007

Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong

Click the image for a larger view. Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong [Album Version] by Abysmal Crucifix Electric:You might think this is another song about anal sex, but you’re wrong. It’s actually an anti-immigration song focused on the…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 5, 2007

Two Berries on a Twig

Click the image for a larger view. Two Berries on a Twig by Abysmal Crucifix During the summer of 2007, I became convinced one of my ex-girlfriends had been parking outside every night from midnight to four in the…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 18, 2007

Star Sex

Click the image for a larger view. Star Sex by Abysmal Crucifix Another homage to the Beach Boys’ Love You. This time, the inspiration is the song “Solar System.” The lyrics describe the act of a star birth. I…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 21, 2007

Rolling in It

Click the image for a larger view. Rolling in It [Album Version] by Abysmal Crucifix “Studio Version”:I’ve long been obsessed with Nigerian 419 scams, because they’re the most dangerous form of hilarity on the planet. Long before I wrote…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 7, 2007

Sax on the Beach

Click the image for a larger view. Sax on the Beach by Abysmal Crucifix Source of inspiration: on choir tour senior year of high school, we stayed at a nice resort hotel on one of the arms of the…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 25, 2007

Alcohol Night

Click the image for a larger view. Alcohol Night by dbbates “Alcohol Night”:At some point — I can’t remember why I had the idea, but I manufactured backstory for it — it became canon that a song called “Meeting the One” from Girth…

Posted by D. B. Bates at 9:54 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Writing, Music

March 12, 2007

Private Collections

Perhaps this is why none of the three films that comprise Private Collections are particularly erotic. They all spend so much time hating women that it’s hard to work up the courage to find anything in these films titillating, despite ample nudity and vague, confusing attempts at “sexy” situations.

Posted by D. B. Bates at 12:00 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Film Monthly, Reviews

March 11, 2007

Immoral Women

With their awesome powers combined, three short films form Immoral Women, a provocative and baffling film that provides audiences with the following insights into feminine psychology:
  1. Women will murder men for fun and profit.
  2. Women will murder their parents and servants as a symbol of their sexual maturation.
  3. Women will allow their huge pet dogs to chew off the tender vittles of any man, be it a kidnapper or husband, and will watch with apathy as the pain forces them to roll into an awkward jump cut that lands them in a river, where they drown.
Good times all around in Immoral Women, now available on DVD!

Posted by D. B. Bates at 12:00 AM | Print-Friendly | Comments (0) | Film Monthly, Reviews