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Hard at Work

I haven’t checked in lately. I’m very near having a job. Not quite yet, but it’s within my grasp. I’m doing volunteer work for a guy who’s about as ethical as me; he told me to put him down as a work reference for whatever the fuck pipe-dream job I want to pretend I’ve had so I can get a real job. Just as long as I keep him apprised of what he supposedly employed me to do, he’ll lie like a banshee to employees. He’s known, at least in the circles of the city where I want to be employed, for freelance work, so it might actually work out. He’s also had a few jobs crop up (which, unfortunately, won’t start interviewing until after the holidays) that have contacted him personally for recommendations, and he’s sent my name their way. This could work out, after all…

In the meantime, I’ve been hard at work on the first draft of a novel. It’s part of an elaborate scam to sell screenplays, but I won’t go into details on that right now. I wouldn’t want somebody stumbling across this entry via Google and stealing my scam, which to my knowledge hasn’t yet been used in The Industry™. This could either mean I’m being really innovative or really stupid, but as Thomas Edison once remarked, “There’s a fine line between clever and stupid.” He made this remark shortly before making the first—and only—test of his unsuccessful colonoscopy camera, which weighed 500 pounds and was approximately the size of a modern refrigerator.

Point being, I’ve been devoting my time, energy, and skillz to (a) completing this novel, (b) finding a job, and (c) watching reruns of The Rockford Files. No time for blogging, leaving the house, or having sex with middle-aged women after mildly erotic games of pool!

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