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My work phone rang today, which was a startling and unusual occurrence. They accidentally mislabeled my phone number in the staff directory, and I’ve gone to great pains to keep it that way because, frankly, I don’t usually need to talk to anybody on the phone, and I don’t want to talk to anyone on the phone, so I don’t want anybody calling me. And since nobody knows the number, it’s a rather convenient way out.

So the phone rang, and I thought it might be a job, although I only listed that particular number one time before I realized maybe all they need is my cell phone, since it might be a bad idea to be discussing the details of a job or scheduling an interview where many people can hear me and know I’m searching for a new job. I picked it up anyway. “This is Stan,” I muttered.

“Hi, this is Ron, from Gossamer Brokerage, and investment firm in Manhattan,” said the friendly voice on the other line.

“Uh…” I responded.

“I’m calling to see if you have any interest in [insert spiel of investment-related rhetoric that I only half-paid attention to],” Ron continued.

“I’m not interested in that at all,” I said.

“Would you like to switch your existing account to our firm?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

“Your name is on this list because our records indicate that you have an investment account. Is this correct?”


His tone switched from friendly to an “I need to back out of this call as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next person” tone. “Okay, have a good day,” was all he said before he hung up.

I’m still trying to figure out how he got the number. I wonder if they just somehow got ahold of an outdated directory (or are just randomly dialing the any combination with our set prefixes) to cold-call people at our company. I’m guessing around here, finding people who have investment portfolios will net a lot more “hits” than “misses.”

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