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Posts in: December 21st, 2005

More Goddamn Food!

Seriously, it’s out of hand. Today, a box of Entenmann’s donuts and a box of chocolates were set up by the printer. Then, around 9:30, I got this e-mail from Management:

Subject: Lunches

We will be bringing in lunch Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

One day will be Chipotle and I think the other will be a sandwich platter from Subway.

The Chipotle menu is in the cube across from me, please come and fill it out by the end of the day tomorrow.

Thanks and Happy Holidays to everyone.

Good… God. That brings the total of free lunches for this month up to five. That’s more than one a week.

I was also grilled, in a really strange way, about not showing up to yesterday’s free lunch. My boss came up to me and asked, “What time do you usually get here in the morning?”

I responded, “7:30.”

“Okay…” A beat. “Why didn’t you come to the free lunch yesterday?”

Way to segue, right? I wasn’t sure if I should get into my whole objection to the thing, because often corporate people find my anti-corporate views a little strange. Then they start whispering behind my back and all of a sudden I’m accused of being a dirty Red, and the police start chasing me through the farm commune and I end up beating a cop to death (in my defense, he shot the leader of my “two-and-a-half-cents-a-box-ain’t-enough-dag-nabbit” protest group first!) and have to leave my home and family to avoid prosecution. But, you know, maybe it’s like Casy says. A fella ain’t got a soul of his own, just a little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everyone.

I went a little out of my way to get to that reference, so you people better appreciate it.

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