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Losing Touch with Reality

I remember several months ago, I was walking down Van Buren Street, staring up at the el tracks like a dope, and thinking to myself, “I wonder if they actually filmed this in Chicago.” Which I often think of while watching movies that take place in Chicago, so it would have been a reasonable thought if not for the fact that, ahem, it was real life.

I had a similar experience this morning. My parents got me the Alien “quadrilogy” (hereafter “tetralogy,” since I only like to use made-up words when they’re not designed for people who are mentally retarded) for Christmas, so I’ve been watching the movies and documentaries in that collection for the past few days. Consequently, I have aliens on the brain. I haven’t had any nightmares, but this morning I kept having strange stomach cramps, and at one point, I thought to myself, “Oh God, this is it—it’s about to hatch.”

And then I thought, “You’re an idiot,” and took some Pepto-Bismol.

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