Posts in: August, 2003


I watched the Joe Don Baker classic Joysticks today. It was a tremendous piece of shit, but it was filled with a lot of familiar faces who were nobodies at the time (and are, in the grand scheme of celebrities, still basically nobodies…but they all fall into the “Hey, it’s that guy!” category).


  • Joe Don Baker
  • lots of nudity
  • it’s actually almost amusing at times
  • nice cinematography
  • the acting wasn’t completely atrocious, which is probably why most of the cast members rose up to become C-list celebrities


  • poorly written
  • most of the nude women are not that attractive and/or have terribly fake breasts
  • the one girl who actually is really hot doesn’t actually get naked
  • too bogged down in a worthless plot
  • a few of the gags actually start out well, but they’re stretched for such a long time they stop being funny; I call this the Death to Smoochy Syndrome
  • possibly the stupidest movie ever made
  • not enough Joe Don Baker

All in all, I wouldn’t recommend it.

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My Day At Cingular, or: A Confederacy of Dunces

My dad’s corporate cell phone has been taken away because the company got sick of those damn employees using their phones to, you know, talk to people and stuff. Since that happened, my mother has been talking almost daily about switching to Cingular’s family plan. I leaped on that bandwagon, because $10 a month for a phone I’ve actually started using semi-regularly is a lot better than paying $40 a month for a phone I almost never use.

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[I found myself getting misty-eyed and depressed yesterday. Despite the misery and irritation of getting the actual work done, this class is the most fun I’ve ever had (academically) in college. I really didn’t want it to end, and I prolonged it by hanging around with my classmates afterward for a few hours. But, man, leaving pretty much bummed me out. Especially since Gina’s gonna be out of town for a few weeks.

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Friday Five (19)

Friday Five

1. Are you going to school this year?

2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate?
Columbia College, in Chicago’s rustic and gentrified South Loop.

3. What are/were your favorite school subjects?
English, and I was a big choirboy.

4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects?
Anything involving math or science. Not specifically because I disliked those subjects (though I did), but because we had some painful, pitiful teachers. At least in the remedial sections.

5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite?
I’m not sure I have any specific favorite, but I’ve had a lot of teachers in high school and college who have inspired me a great deal.

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Why I No Longer Actively Pursue Relationships

I met the future Ex a little over a year ago. A general education requirement threw us together; otherwise, we probably never would have met. Okay, maybe we would have, but it’s somewhat unlikely. She’s a music major; I’m a film major. We don’t really mix well, or at all, even though I used to be a music major.

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The Magic of DV

I went down early to mix my film. I decided to take the nefarious and unlawful precaution of mixing my own film, for three reasons: (1) the main mixer guy is sorta nice but mostly a big dick, so I didn’t want to deal with him; (2) the secondary mixer guy, who I know better and am on pretty good terms with, hasn’t been around for three days; and (3) I couldn’t get an appointment.

Fortunately, through my hilariously inept attempts at home recording, I’ve managed to pick up some pro-tips on the subject of recording, mixing, mastering, and so on, so I thought I could do it myself.

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The Ex and the Pretty Boys

Last night, The Ex appeared on Instant Messenger. Although our long-standing policy of not acknowledging one another’s existence unless it involves public humiliation has not prevented me from removing her from my Instant Messenger buddy list, I just can’t seem to totally drop her from it. So, there she sits, at the very bottom. Maybe I should create a new category for ex-girlfriends whose screen names I have. Or maybe I should take her off altogether.

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My dad called me this morning while my mother was at work. He took a brief opportunity waiting for clearance to dock his truck to inform me that I should apologize to my mother for a little tiff we had on Wednesday. He didn’t really seem to know the details, but that could have been because right when he called, he was cleared to dock, so he needed to make things brief.

“I know you were right about some things,” he said, but then quickly corrected that, “or, at least, you think you were, but your mom was more-than-average upset, so you should at least think about apologizing.”

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