« »

Pointless Waste of Time (Thanks, Jeff!)

Read the boring (and incredibly long) survey I got from Jeff.

ten things you love to do

– write

– read

– watch television

– watch movies

– talk (I admire the sound of my own voice)

– sit on Hotline making homoerotic overtures with the other spazzes

– compose and perform terrible and terrifying music

– smoke grain alcohol

– wax elegiac over the mistakes I’ve made in life

– bike (no, for real; if I wasn’t thirty pounds overweight and thoroughly out of shape—while at the same time completely unwilling to change it—I’d be biking constantly)

ten girls’ names you love

– Meghan

– Juliana (duh)

– Jennifer

– Cruella (come on, that’s a great name)

– any misspelled variation of a common name is classy

– Kelly

– Sandra

– Penelope

– Justine

– Brianna (no, really, I like that name)

ten boys’ name you love

– Jimmy

– Carlos

– Quentin (that name is the bomb)

– David

– Charles

– Ziff (best name evar)

– Michael

– Marcus

– Todd

– Leonard

ten movies you could watch over and over again (Only ten?)

– Clerks

– Pleasantville

– This is Spinal Tap

– Waiting For Guffman

– The Man Who Wasn’t There

– O Brother, Where Art Thou?

– Ghostbusters

– Akira

– Wayne’s World

– The Big Lebowski

ten tv shows you could watch all day

– Buffy the Vampire Slayer (obviously)

– The Simpsons

– NewsRadio

– The Daily Show

– The Cosby Show

– Dark Shadows

– Undeclared (if only they hadn’t canceled it…fucking Fox, motherfuckers)

– Firefly (again, fucking Fox, motherfuckers)

– Star Trek: The Next Generation

– Coach

ten stores you could max out a credit card in



– (okay, so it’s not really a store—fuck you!)





– Borders (and I’ve done it, too)

– Karnes Music (that $270,000 piano ought to do it…)

– Apple Store

ten songs you’ll never get tired of hearing

– “Feelin’ Massachusetts” by Juliana Hatfield

– “Noblesse Oblige” by Juliana Hatfield

– “Ten Foot Pole” by Juliana Hatfield

– “Table For One” by Juliana Hatfield

– “Only Shallow” by My Bloody Valentine

– “Giant Steps” by John Coltrane

– “Oh! how the Dogs Stack Up” by Mogwai

– “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle” by Nirvana

– “Smog Moon” by Matthew Sweet

– “Let Me In” by Save Ferris

ten people you miss

– I don’t really want to say. They know who they are. Pigfuckers.

ten things you wanna study in college

– an historical and sociological examination of pornography

– how to make a video game

– eh, I’ve already pretty much studied everything else I wanted to. I’m done with college. Pigfuckers.

ten things you do before you go to school when I have time, mind you

– shower

– watch CNN

– check weather

– eat breakfast

– watch Dark Shadows

– warm up the car

– drive to the train station

– sit on the train and read a book, avoiding eye contact with anybody who looks like he might be a crack or arms dealer

– get coffee and a Chicago Tribune

– assault a hobo

ten things that are always in on your purse person

– wallet

– keys

– cell phone

– train ticket/U-Pass

– $20 cash

– gloves (in winter)

– hat (in winter)

– pen/pencil

– random change

– tire gauge (I’m stretching)

ten things you love to eat

– Cheez-Its, sweet ambrosia of the gods

– Actual cheese, specifically sharp cheddar

– Golden Grahams

– Chocolate in any form (except dark—blech!)

– Glazed donuts

– Cinnamon donuts

– Starbursts

– Wheelhouse burger at Bennigans…holy crap, that thing will kill me (too bad they don’t serve them anymore. Pigfuckers.)

– Pop-Tizzarts

– Strawberries (especially when fed to me by a team of scantily clad virgins)

ten things you love to drink

– Coca-Cola

– Water

– Dunkin Donuts coffee (with cream and sugar)

– Orange juice

– V8

– V8 Splash (fruit medley 4 lief)

– 7-Up

– Milk (2%)

– Starbucks’ Passion iced tea…God, it tastes like crap to the extent that I have to admire it


ten things in your room (further evidence of my geekiness)

– packaging for shit I bought months ago but haven’t bothered to throw away

– pages upon pages of stuff I’ve written…it’s all crap

– a little plastic/styrofoam container filled with small replacement light bulbs for my lighting kit…huh, I wonder why that’s in here

– stacks of unlabeled but burned CD-R’s

– my DigiTech multi-effects board…very nice

– my terrifying PC, which I affectionately named Behemoth (you can see I’ve written it across the side in magic marker)

– ye olde G4

– the TV and all its accouterments (cable box, PS2, GC, VCR, DVD player), and cables out the ass

– my guitars

– the bookshelf of doom

ten pictures i have in my room

– I’m not a picture-keeping kind of guy. I don’t have any in my bedroom.

ten screennames ive had

– Lion Head

– genralstan

– wintelstan

– mranalretentive

– chcgnry (or something like that, I don’t really remember that one)

– mjrgenralstanley

– I’ve manufactured several for prank purposes, but I don’t remember what any of them are.

ten words/phrases you use a lot (still further evidence of my geekiness; I am a horrible, horrible person)

– gg

– bg

– teh lose

– teh winnar

– 4 lief


– do not understand the genre

– hatorade

– in my pants


ten websites you have on your favorites list

– Slashdot

– As the Apple Turns

– Something Awful

– Roger Ebert

– VersionTracker

– IMDb

– Darwin Mayflower’s Loose Thread

– eBay


– Nigeria – the 419 Coalition Website

ten places you like to eat

– Bennigans

– Taco Bell

– Portillos

– Wendys

– Starbucks (ah, cinnamon chip scones…my Achilles heel)

– Chicago Carry-Out (I have a death wish)

– Dunkin Donuts (2-for-99¢—best deal evar)

– Burger King

– any place that serves Italian food

– Pizzeria Unos (I am not being redundant; this does not count as Italian food)

ten radio stations you have on your presets

– I don’t listen to the radio. The end.

ten places youd like to visit/revisit

– San Francisco

– London

– Boston

– Toronto

– Seattle

– Billings

– Milwaukee

– Denver

– Stockholm

– Los Angeles (ugh…I have to)

ten random screennames that are online right now

– Nah, I’m not gonna be doing that.

ten things on your mind

– will I download all these episodes before I get booted off the server?

– “I’m no stranger to conspiracy. I saw JFK.”

– spongy

– I hope I don’t fail African history

– I should never have gotten sucked back into Columbia House

– this script is terrible

– I love this melody


– women

– death

ten things you wanna be doing right now (I think this should read “ten things you’d rather be doing right now”)

– Studying the etymology of English words

– Writing (oh wait, I am)

– Living in squalor somewhere in downtown Los Angeles

– Abandoning the education system

– Electro-shock therapy on white rats

– Using the the acronym “LOL” regularly on Instant Messenger

– Walking the beagle I don’t have but would like to if I weren’t so allergic

– I really can’t think of any more filler material. The active lifestyle is not for me.

– Actually, I can think of a few other things, but I don’t think they’re suited for a public forum such as this. Pigfuckers.

– And now, we dance.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Post A Reply